My friend got married today. My friend who I’ve always known not to be overly affectionate (ironically, it’s one of the things we bond over), is one of the most in-love people I have ever seen. It’s always a quiet shock to the system when you see someone you’ve known for a long time - in a different element than you knew was possible.
On the one hand it’s amazing to discover something new about a friend, but then it’s also a little sad when you realise that it’s a part of them that was always there and it’s only new to you.
I feel privileged to have been counted among the few who got to witness this gesture of love between two people. If there’s one thing that is clear to me after tonight, it’s that I would like to spend more time with my friend. I always knew she was smart, funny, kind, but nothing clarifies someone’s personality as much as other people’s reflections on them. I feel like I’ve been missing out.
There’s this thing that I do that I kind of hate and am trying not to do anymore - where I get stuck thinking of what people need from me, so much so that I sometimes feel burdened by friendships. This is both unjustified, egotistical, and just plain wrong, because sometimes people are in your life because they want to be there, not because they need you to fix them.
In truth, most people in my life have it together more than I can even conceive. They know what they want, they work to get it, and if they don’t succeed either they find another way or they adapt and build new dreams because that’s what grown ups do. Lisha Constantino (now Lisha Murphy) is one of them and I think I could learn alot from her.